A nice rationalist rap for ya..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAYVY2eLMck&feature=player_embedded#

A Bad Day

Yesterday was terrible. Not only is it getting harder and harder to crack on with the project (I simply need to take a break but refuse to ) , but I felt totally deflated after getting turned down by the jazz singer that i met up with on saturday. She was right of course - i'm not "ready" as a jazz pianist to collaborate, if i need to rely on those backing tracks. Getting that second email reply WAS a bit hurtful too - the "Once your comfortable with Jazz piano" email reply from hear was most certainly meant harmlessly but just kicked me in the gut. She was right though.

I guess its just the never ending bad news and rejections have knocked me to rock bottom, and drink.

On the positive side nice to see the shares rising. maybe i should soon sell a few and go for that holiday. I truly need a break but since the project is taking forever and i always feel bad if no progress has been made on a daily basis, I find it extremely hard to step away from the work.

Ana Maria

Have spent a few days putting together several differen versions of the Wayne Shorter Jazz tune

Ana Maria in Logic and Ableton. Plan to submit them online some time with my solos.

Have to say - Ana Maria is such a beautiful tune. Even the chord progression backing tracks by themselves are addictive. Great workout for improv as well, since theyre unpredictable while intensely musical. Mr Shorter is a bloody genius.

I just love his 60s tunes - Children Of the Night, Fee Fi Fo Fum, etc. Plus of course the Weather report stuff - but its his Miles Davis tunes that are so cool to play on in jazz groups. Never get bored with them.

Project is dragging on and on.

And the latest patent scare set me on a minor depression last week. Straight to the bottle.

Feel a little more optimistic now ive been in touch with the US patent lawyers about raising an objection. Im not giving up yet. Not after all the years i've put into this.

Not a good month. And way behind.

This streaming thing is doing my head in and i feel burnt out and totally lack motivation.

Doesnt help getting distracted by playing jazz piano to the huge jazz playalong collection i've amassed. I've also been doing just basically jamming as opposed to serious practice.

This week i burned way too much time getting this jam session campaign thing going. Its cool to finally find some pro musicians and singers in town. I'm very insecure about meeting up and getting rejections due to not being at the standard they play at. Why is it that i never seem to be able to juggle many projects and appointments simultaneusly ?.

Basically im depressed. And next year i turn 50 and I really dont like it.

This project was going so well this summer and now it seems to have hit treacle.

I think i need a break seriously. A holiday, but no cash. Cant win.

And frankly i could do without bloody christmas.

Bah Humbug.

I Hit A Milestone Today

Whoopees all round.

Today I got my first error free XCode build of a "Squirted" version of Colours from its REALbasic project. It means my REALbasic to C++ produced a clean version of C++ code from the Colours RB project. Getting C++ to implement REALbasic/C# style interfaces proved to be a pig - since it proved impossible to allow base classes to implement interface methods in subclasses. What a pain in the posterior C++ is. The day when REALbasic becomes able to produce dynamic libraries cannot come soon enough imo.

Next step - fill in all the RB framework wrapper objects - ugh. In fact first i should really try running the code as it is and sort out which memory management mechanism to use

ie the BOEHM garbage collector or reference counting ( via BOOST shared_ptr or the like ).

Maybe in parallel with filling in the framework classes i need to start looking at integrating JUCE into the project and figure out how to use JUCE

GUI in the plugin instead of RB.

On a different tone - made further moves to find local jazz musicians with view to getting playing again in some jam session or regular group.

By means of a chain of referrals from one 'muso to the next i ended up coming to an old musical contact - a friend of mines sax teacher.

Funny how things "come around" - turns out he's some kind of christian and does prison visits ( similar to my mothers church ). What going on here ? the bassist and several others who go to the

Nightclub in town where there's a jam session open mic thing goes to some pentecostal church and now this old muso too!.

This guy - a seasoned session musician and teacher now introduced me to the Uxbridge jazz rehearsal band where i met Chris the bassist which led on to the Uxbridge "Load of Hay" jazz gig I ran there for a year or so. ( maybe more i cant remember ). Chris ran it for a year whic was fun - although i got a bit bored with playing commercial stuff like "Sunshine of your life" and "Summertime" incessantly. As soon as he left to work on the QE2 gig and i took over I wasted no time in turning the gig into a more modern jazz affair - got in the best young NYJO and session "deps" - at my expense much of the time. But the standard was then set much higher ( and becme more demanding for me ) . Sadly such gigs only last for a season. Such is Jazz...

The jam session on sundays is an iffy affair. A bit too much showing off at great volume by some younger drummers keen to show off their latest chops.

Showing off is all very well but losing "time" is unforgivable.

But just when i start to get exasperated and wonder what i'm doing there a number starts up and we get a fine groove going and all is well. This sunday I thoroughly enjoyed playing rhythm on a reggae style

vamp. Some old-ish looking black guy near the bar seemed to be digging it which was cool. I;d like to think i was sounding something like what i used to hear on John Peel late at night in the 70s growing up!.

While waiting for a joint taxi and making conversation with the girlfriend of the jam organiser was made aware big time of the "generation gap" - no musical commonality. Also surprised/interested to hear from several of the younger there that they hardly ever watch TV. Guess the Net age has truly arrived and/or they have better things to do!.

So Today carried an interesting conversation about closing toilet seats. Something us males forget often. So the "master of house" has come up with a cunning plan - namely to put creative objects on the cistern lid along with a small note with a reminder to do the task in question.

However as any psychologist will note - an initial surprise seeing a change of object soon gets ignored on repeated viewing - thus making the reminding effect redundant.

So this toilet object display gets changed daily.

It is early days but habits form fast and take ages to be broken.

To date the cistern has had displays of teddy bears, elephants, sea shells, and cryptic notes with question marks. Anything to keep that damn toilet lid down.

Oh - and i finally got back to working on the project in earnest after a week of distractions.

My first entry!

So here we are - the first paragraph on the never-ending Colours software project.

What is it ?

a pain in the neck - thats what.

Something for musicians and composers.

A tool to encourage experimentation with harmonies.

Thats what.

For now anyway...

When will it be ready for release ?

sigh....